Ever struggled with awkward small talk when meeting someone new? Whether it’s a colleague, a stranger, or even a business connection, surface-level conversations often feel boring and uninspiring.
But what if there was a way to instantly create deep, meaningful connections? High, Low, Buffalo is a powerful technique that helps build rapport without the usual scripted conversations.
In this blog, I’ll walk you through this technique, its psychology, and how you can use it to make authentic, engaging connections in your personal and professional life.
The Problem with Surface-Level Conversations
We’ve all been there—meeting someone and starting with basic small talk:
“Hey, how are you?”
“Good, how about you?”
“Yeah, good!”
…and the conversation quickly fizzles out.
These interactions don’t build depth, trust, or real connections. So, instead of asking generic questions, you need a strategy that encourages people to share something real.
This is where High, Low, Buffalo comes in.
What Is High, Low, Buffalo?
High, Low, Buffalo is a conversation game that helps people share personal experiences, build rapport, and deepen relationships.
How It Works
Ask the person three things:
High: Something going really well in their life right now.
Low: Something challenging or not-so-great at the moment.
Buffalo: Something unique or interesting about them that most people don’t know.
By asking these specific questions, you immediately unlock emotional depth instead of meaningless surface-level interactions.
Real-Life Example – A Powerful Exchange
Let’s say you and a colleague have worked together for two years, but never had a real conversation. Instead of awkward chit-chat, you introduce the game:
“Hey, I know this might seem a little different, but I’d love to connect with you. Can we play a game called High, Low, Buffalo?”
They agree, and the exchange happens:
High: “I wasn’t expecting to be on stage tonight.”
Low: “It’s year-end, and I’m sad some colleagues are leaving.”
Buffalo: “If I wasn’t a product manager, I’d be a professional gamer.”
Now, instead of just acknowledging these facts, you pull on the emotional threads to dive deeper:
“You mentioned feeling sad about colleagues leaving—is there someone specific you’re going to miss?”
Suddenly, you find out about Alex, a team leader, and how his mentorship shaped a colleague’s career. Now, there’s a real emotional connection!
Why This Works – The Psychology Behind It
1. It Creates Emotional Threads
Instead of generic questions, High, Low, Buffalo forces people to reveal personal thoughts. This immediately strengthens trust and engagement.
2. It Shows Vulnerability
When you open up first, people naturally feel safe to reciprocate. Sharing emotions builds real relationships faster than scripted conversations.
3. It Encourages Curiosity
By pulling on the threads, you encourage deeper conversations—this helps uncover valuable insights into someone’s thoughts, interests, and struggles.
How to Apply This in Daily Life
You can use High, Low, Buffalo in multiple settings:
Networking events – Build instant rapport beyond business small talk
Team-building sessions – Strengthen relationships with colleagues
Friendship & dating – Create deeper emotional bonds
Social gatherings – Keep conversations fresh and engaging
The key? Lead the conversation with confidence. When you show vulnerability, people feel safe to open up, making the connection authentic and lasting.
Conclusion
If you want better conversations, stronger connections, and meaningful relationships, ditch the small talk and try High, Low, Buffalo.
It’s simple, powerful, and works every time.
Instead of the usual “How’s your day?”, go deeper, ask better questions, and create genuine rapport—because great relationships start with great conversations!
FAQs
1. How does High, Low, Buffalo improve communication?
It forces people to share real stories instead of empty small talk, building trust and emotional depth instantly.
2. Can I use this in professional settings?
Absolutely! It’s great for networking, client meetings, and team bonding.
3. What if someone isn’t comfortable sharing their Low?
Respect their boundaries—keep the conversation light and focus on the High and Buffalo instead.
4. How do I start this game without feeling awkward?
Frame it with confidence:
“I know this seems different, but I love connecting with people on a deeper level—can we play this quick game?”
5. What if the person doesn’t ask me their High, Low, Buffalo?
If they don’t ask about your threads, naturally bring them in with:
“It’s funny you mentioned that because for me…”